Beaten with the Stick of Humility

Before I came on my GAP year, I thought I was basically a good person. People admired my intelligence and appreciated my disciplined approach to life. I've never killed anyone, and, aside from my sister's clothes, never stolen anything.  I thought I didn't have any major sins that the Lord needed to heal me from this year. In case you haven't already guessed, the main sin I struggle with is pride.

Take today for example. I spent the day cleaning and organizing my boss' closet. Now, cleaning and organizing are the  two least pleasurable tasks in the world because they never end. The only things that stay clean and organized are things that you never use, and you never clean and organize things you don't use.

But if I'm honest with myself, the real reason I hate cleaning and organizing is because I think it's beneath me. I derive pleasure from using my brain to analyze people and situations. Organizing a closet? Pretty straight forward. Since I don't derive any pleasure from cleaning and organizing, I prefer to leave it to someone else. Stupid, selfish pride.

But if I had to choose a theme for my GAP year, I'd call it a year of being beaten with the stick of humility. This year has stripped me of all of my former conceptions of identity (student, History major, employee, etc) and left me with only my identity in Christ.

What does it mean to have an identity in Christ? It means that my behavior should mirror his, that I should desire to be holy. Well holiness does not come naturally to me, mainly because of my pride. The Lord knows this, and his response is to discipline me. I love the following passage from Hebrews, and refer to it whenever I'm having trouble adjusting my attitude towards my service:

"Endure trials for the sake of discipline. God is

treating you like children; for what child is there

whom a parent does not discipline? If you do

not have that discipline in which all children

share, then you are illegitimate and not his children...

Now, discipline always seems painful rather than 

pleasant at the time, but later it yields the 

peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who

have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12: 7-8, 11)

This year the Lord is disciplining me by requiring that I give him complete control over my schedule, social life, finances, and future. He's using my service to beat me with the stick of humility so I learn to rely more on him and less on myself. 

Jesus did not need a college degree to spread the gospel and wash his disciples feet. In the same way I should see this season of bathroom cleaning, closet organizing, and garlic chopping as an opportunity for the Lord to beat the pride right out of me.