First off, the good. God. God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good. I'm very blessed to be serving the Word of Life Community here in Ann Arbor. God has placed some truly talented and holy people in my life this year that I get to live, serve, and have fun with. Sometimes I go to meetings and have to pinch myself that I am actually here talking to the legendary x about catering options for a conference that I'm helping her organize.
For the most part, I enjoy the service I've been asked to perform this year. Gappers in Ann Arbor divide their time between serving University Christian Outreach (UCO), Ignite Youth Group, the Word of Life Office, and GAP training. The percentage of time each gapper spends with each group depends on their age/state of life. For example, most of my service is with UCO as I'm a post-college student. The other two gappers I serve with work more with the Ignite Youth Group than I do since they just graduated from high school. I enjoy serving a variety of outreaches of the Word of Life Community even if it means that I have to spend an hour at the beginning of each week figuring out my schedule.
The biggest challenge of my GAP year has been adopting a servant's heart. What does that mean? It means accepting that my schedule is not my own, and not responding in anger when someone asks me to be flexible with my time. It means carrying out my service with a joyful attitude even when I feel less than joyful. It means forgoing romantic relationships, and focusing on building relationships with my Ann Arbor sisters. It means refraining from deriving my self-worth from what I can produce, and instead recognizing my value as a child of God.
I'm choosing to look at my GAP year as a year set apart, not a year of constant sacrifice. This year will be unlike any other year I experience, and I don't want to ruin it by adopting a woe is me attitude. God is stretching and challenging me out of love because he refuses to settle for the mediocracy I'd attain if left to my own devices.
I'll close this post with a metaphor. Last night my housemates and I had a movie night where we watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I love this movie. The movie's a pretty classic portrayal of the ugly duckling-swan transformation. In the beginning of the movie Tula's waitressing in her family's restaurant when she first lays eyes on Ian. They have the classic awkward encounter. Later in the movie, once Tula goes to school and learns to take better care of herself, they meet again. Ian recognizes her from the restaurant but not for her awkwardness. From then on they fall in love and live happily ever after.
So what's the link between My Big Fat Greek Wedding and a GAP year? A GAP year is ment to be a transformative year. The person I will be at the end of my GAP year will still be me, but the me who's spent a year seeking the Lord and turning to him for comfort during those lonely and frustrating moments. I'm not going to leave my GAP year a swan, but I'll be one step away from ugly duckling.
