January is the Cruelest Month

English Literature + History = What Career Exactly?!

January is the Cruelest Month

No offense T.S. Elliot, but January, not April is the Cruelest Month. It's cruel in spite of the freezing temperatures, short days, and New Year's Resolutions. It's cruel because for most young adults, January is Discernment month. 

Discernment comes from the Latin roots "dis" meaning apart, and "cernere" meaning "to sift." Taken together, discernment means to "sift apart." From a Christian perspective discernment means to make an important life decision after much prayer and counsel. 

Young adults (youth aged 18ish-24ish) make many important life decisions every year. Every year, they must renegotiate which career, relationships, and living situations to pursue. A lot of these decisions come from trial and error, especially during a person's late teen years. As a person matures, making the "right decisions" becomes more and more important, as these decisions start to shape who the individual will be long term.

I personally find the process of discernment very stressful. I keep having this recurring dream that I am walking up to a buffet filled with all of my favorite food, but the buffet only carries dessert plates. I wake up still trying to figure out if I should have gone for the sweet potatoes, or the mashed ones. Discernment would be easy if we were deciding between two equal options, one clearly "good" and one clearly "bad." But the real world rarely works in neat dualism. Oftentimes you are trying to choose the best good from two great options. 

Since this is my seventh time on the Discernment merry-go-round, I thought I'd offer some tips on how to go about the discernment process in a slightly less stressful manner. Hope it helps!

Discernment Tips, Tricks, and Encouragements

1. Pray. Pray often. Ask other people to pray for you. How will you know what the Lord wants you to do next year if you don't ask him? 

 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  

Plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 

2. Seek counsel. I recommend picking three same-sexed mentors who are at least five years older than you. Women or men who you respect, and who you know will speak truth into your life. Discuss your questions, fears, and anxieties with them. Listen to their feedback. Let all of the other advice you receive (and trust me you will receive A LOT) go in one ear, and out the other. 

3. Vent responsibly. There's no reason to freak people out unnecessarily over decisions you haven't completely made.  In fact, it's selfish of you to do so. For example if you are discerning whether to transfer to a different university, there's no need to share this with your friends at your current university until you have made a decision. Talk to an adviser  your parents, or a friend not involved in the situation. Discern up, never sideways. 

4. Set (realistic) deadlines. You do not want the discernment process to drag out forever. I'd say 2-3 months is plenty of time to discern major life decisions. Be patient with yourself, but also refuse to wallow in a black hole of possibilities. 

5.  When people ask you what you're doing next year, it is perfectly alright to say "I am discerning my plans for next year. I will tell you when I've made some decisions, but until then I'd appreciate you not asking me about my future plans." Now, obviously this line will not work with parents, supervisors, and best friends. But I've found it incredibly useful for that relative you only see once a year, or that co-worker who you wouldn't talk to unless you worked together. 

I'd like to leave you with a pearl of wisdom I received last year as I was discerning if I should move back to Pittsburgh and work for UCO. I hope it encourages you as you embark on your discernment process!

"When you're discerning between two equally good options, sometimes you need to just make a decision. After you've made your decision, act like you've made it. Feelings follow actions." 

ONE_Conference

© Cindy Lykins 2013

Kairos Staff Conference 2013

ONE_ Conference

Remember when you were a kid and Mom or Dad called the family together for a family meeting? As a kid you thought that one of two things was happening: 1. Someone passed away or 2. The family was going on a trip to Disney World. As you grew up you learned that family meetings occurred when Mom or Dad had something important that they wanted to discuss as a family. Mostly the meetings were pretty straightforward, but every once in a while you had a meeting that changed the direction of your family life. The Kairos Staff Conference 2013, held in Lansing, MI from January 4-6, 2013 was one of those direction changing family meetings.

Kairos is the branch of the Sword of the Spirit (SOS) that supports SOS youth and university outreach, mainly high school youth groups, Saint Paul’s Outreach (SPO), and University Christian Outreach (UCO). Kairos works specifically with youth as youth must decide if they want to follow Christ, and to what extent. This conference pulled together 160 Kairos staff workers from nine UCO chapters, seven SPO chapters, numerous high school youth groups, and a brotherhood.

This conference’s theme was oneness. We spent time exploring our common culture, call, and mission. We heard talks on Our Common Nucleus, The Post-modern iWorld, A Return to Reason, The Need for a Comprehensive Solution, and Responding to a Call from God. In the men's and women's sessions we looked at growing in Christian manhood, and womanhood respectively.

The highlight of the retreat for me was our Saturday night prayer meeting. After celebrating the Lord's Day together we turned to the Lord to see what he had for us. The Lord spoke clearly to us in three prophetic words:

1. Be Not afraid
2. Give Generously
3. Take More Ground

The word to give generously really struck me. As a staff worker I can sometimes roll my eyes when encouraged to give more. Haven’t I already sacrificed my career, living situation, and personal life for the mission? Then I realized that my sacrifice does and always will pale in comparison to Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice on the cross. The prophecy reminded me of the words from John 12:25, “the man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in the world will keep it for eternal life”

I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend such a powerful family meeting. It was great to catch up with family members who live all over North America, and meet some new ones. I returned to Pittsburgh with a new heart, and vision for the work. It’s a privilege to be part of such a supportive, interesting family.

2012 Recap

When I look back on 2012, I remember it as the year I became an adult. I thought I'd justify my claim by a series of top ten lists. 

Enjoy! And Happy New Year :)  

10 Greatest Adventures of 2012

1. Serving at the Kairos Women's Mission Director Conference.

2. Leading a small group for UCO Ann Arbor's Life in the Spirit Seminar. 

3. Tutoring English to Asian Students @ U of M. 

4. Learning how to communicate well with male co-workers. 

5. Leaving Ann Arbor, moving to Pittsburgh

6. Working as a mission leader for UCO Pittsburgh

7. Serving with AmeriCorps at the Carnegie Library of Homestead. 

8. Living in the women's house in Pittsburgh.

9. Living/working/maintaining my friendship with my best friend.

10. Exploring community life in the People of God Community. 

10 Best Books (I read) in 2012

1. Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama

2. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metazas

3. Man and Woman in Christ by Steven B. Clark 

4. A Town Without Steel: Envisioning Homestead by Judith Modell

5. The Juvenilzation of American Christianity by Thomas Bergler

6. The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X

7. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

8. On the Road by Jack Keroac 

9. A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O'Conner 

10. Writing About Your Life by WIliam Zinsser 

Top 10 Scripture Verses of 2012

1. " I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. The one who plants and the one who waters have a common purpose, and each will receive wages according to the labor of each. But we are God's servants, working together - you are God's field, God's building" - I Corinthians 3: 6-9 

2. "For if you keep quiet at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you wave come to royal dignity for just such a time as this?" -Esther 4: 13-14

3. "Do not be afraid, stand firm, and see the deliverance that the Lord will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you see today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still" Exodus 14: 13-14

4. "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3: 1-2

5. "You are the one who shall command the priests who bears the ark of the covenant. 'When you come to the edge of the waters of the Jordan, you shall stand still in the Jordan.' " - Joshua 3:8 

6. " For it is a credit to you if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly. If you endure when you are beaten for doing wrong, what credit is that? But if you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God's approval, For to this you have been called because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps" -`1 Peter 2: 19-22

7. "And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. FOr it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well" -Luke 12: 29-31. 

8. "It is by holding fast to the Word of Life that I can boast on the day of Christ that I did not run in vain nor labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out as a libation over the sacrifice, and the offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you" - Philippians 2: 16-17 

9. 'Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here I am, send me' " - Isaiah 6:8 

10. "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord" Jeremiah 29: 8

2012 in 10 Songs

1. "Independence Day" by Bruce Springsteen

2. "Lover's Eyes" by Mumford and Sons

3. "Backstreets" by The Gaslight Anthem

4. "Try" by Pink

5. "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys

6. "Shackled and Drawn" by Bruce Springsteen

7. "Better Dig Two" by The Band Perry

8. "On My Own" by Samantha Barks

9. "Highway Patrolman" by Bruce Springsteen

10. "Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight" by ABBA