NYC: The Perfect Place for a JK Experiment

When I say the word "vacation," what images pop into your head? The beach? Art museums? Airports? Well if you're like me, the word vacation involves traveling to a new place and learning some new things about yourself in the process. Let me share with you a few reflections from my week with The Brotherhood of Hope community in Warren, NJ. 

You may be wondering why I went on vacation at all? Am I not on a GAP year, doing a year of service in Ann Arbor? One of the reasons for doing a GAP year is to explore community life in a community other than your home community. Naturally, our vacation would give us the opportunity to visit with another Sword of the Spirit Community, the Brotherhood of Hope in NJ. 

I stayed in the Saint Paul's Outreach (SPO)'s women's house. SPO is the community's college outreach, similar to UCO except that they work to foster ecumenism in a Catholic setting. I found the women we stayed with to be very gracious and hospitable . All of us enjoyed watching season 1 of Downton Abbey on their big screen TV. On our last night there, we attended their final Spirit Night (prayer meeting) of the semester. It was really cool for me to see that though we have different calls, we can still praise the Lord together. 

Another reason we went to NJ for vacation is because it's about an hour drive from New York City, a perfect place for a JK experiment. JK are my bosses initials. Throughout the year, he's been sending us on unexpected missions that force us work together in interesting ways. Case in point. Back in November, he sent three Americans, two Germans, and a Mexican to the Pittsburgh retreat. In order to get there, we had to navigate the Ohio turnpike and backwoods Pennsylvanian roads. We arrived at the retreat in one piece. The ride back, however, grew from a 6 hour trip to an 12 hour trip as we made a sightseeing detour in Pittsburgh, almost ran out of gas in Lordstown, and stopped at every rest stop on the Ohio turnpike. Many of us consider that trip the highlight of our GAP years.

So why was NYC a JK experiment? The 13 of us could do whatever we wanted for two days. Now it is impossible for 13 people to make a decision about anything, so we had to split into smaller groups. After visiting the World Trade Center Memorial. the guys went to Central Park, and the girls headed to St. Patrick's Cathedral. When there, I slipped into a pew and knew I had a decision to make. 

At that point of the trip, I was feeling pretty cranky. See I'm an introvert, and it's pretty hard to get alone time when you are sharing a bedroom with seven girls. As I sat in the pew, I knew that I could either find another introvert in our group to wander around the city with, or I could stay with the big group and be miserable. Thankfully at that moment, one of my friends approached me and asked me if I wanted to go to New York Public Library with her. For some reason, no one else wanted to go with us, and off we went.

We spent the majority of our time in NYC together visiting New York Public Library, Little Italy, Time's Square, Grand Central Station, Central Park, The Museum of Natural History, Bloomindale's, and Fifth Avenue. Together we learned to navigate the subway, negotiate with street vendors, and the difference between African and Asian mammals. From our time together, I learned that I am not a fly by the seams of your pants kind of person, and that structure and solitude are good things. Overall I'd say that the JK experiment was a success, and definetly one of the highlights of my GAP year. 

If the Calling of Christ Feels Too Big, Then You're Dreaming Too Small

Last night at my house dinner we discussed what each of our eight year old selves dreamed of being when we grew up. The answers ranged from professional soccer player, to princess, to killer whale deep sea diver. Some of my friends are currently living their dreams, some are finding ways to live out new dreams.

I was hesitant to share my answer with the group. See when I was eight, I wanted to be a teacher.  But I didn't want to become a teacher because I wanted to change the world one compound-complex sentence at a time. I wanted to become a teacher because it's what most of the adult women in my life did. Teaching wasn't my dream, but a way for me to limit my dream of becoming a writer.

After dinner my housemates and I attended our last UCO prayer meeting of the year. Interestingly enough, the night's talk was about vision. Specifically how high, deep, and Christ-centered are our visions for our lives? See as Christians, our vision for our life needs to be Christ's vision. Specifically, that we "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28: 19).

What a high vision! But a high vision has not roots without depth. If our vision is to make disciples of all the nations, that vision can and should change the world. In fact, our mission director argued that if my vision for my life does not include changing the world, then it's too small. I therefore need to live according to the belief that God will do big things with my life.

But how do I incorporate a vision for discipleship and evangelism into my daily life? In order for me to be faithful to Christ's big vision for my life, I need to be faithful to the smaller things. For example, do my finances reflect my faithfulness to myself or to my church and community? Is my job helping me fulfill my call to discipleship, or am I just passing time until payday? Am I dressing modestly out of love for my brothers, or out of a need for others to recognize my holiness?

If the calling of Christ feels too big, then you are dreaming too small. Dreams should scare you, and at times feel out too big and out of reach. It's only when we make it our life mission to abide in Christ that we can fulfill our mission to raise a family of disciples capable of leading the next generation to Christ.

Reflections on the Lord's Faithfulness

Last night at our UCO Prayer Meeting, I heard a talk that really hit home with me about the Lord's faithfulness. I'd like to share some of my thoughts and reflections on the Lord's faithfulness and how I see it work in my own life.

What is faithfulness? I confess, I Googled it. Faithfulness means remaining true to one's word, steady in allegiance, unchangeable, and reliable. I again confess, none of the characteristics of faithfulness come easily to me.

While faithfulness does not come easily to me, it does to the Lord. When I think back to three years ago when I made the decision to personally follow Christ, I see the Lord's faithful hand at pruning my life circumstances so that I could better serve him. Me participating in this GAP year is probably the best example of the Lord's faithfulness in my life, because it took years for the Lord to open my heart to the idea.

So why do I struggle with faithfulness given that I follow an always faithful God? I'll give you an example: my service with Asian Outreach (AO). To be faithful to AO often costs me something. We have our Dinners and Bible Studies every Friday night, which means I often have to turn down invitations to other social events. I've also learned that it is simply impossible to whip up an authentic Asian dinner without first spending quality time in the kitchen chopping garlic, ginger, and scallions. Perhaps most difficult is remaining faithful to sharing the gospel with the women in AO. It's the most important aspect of my service, but also the part that brings me the most anxiety and fear.

Earlier in the year as I was sharing these concerns with my supervisor, he said something I've since repeated to myself when I find the call to faithfulness too overwhelming. He said:


"The quality of your service is measured by your faithfulness, not their response; nevertheless, earnestly desire their salvation, as the Lord himself does."


Faithfulness is not merely a Gapper job description, it's a way for me to emulate Christ. Faithfully sharing the gospel with others is part of my call to discipleship, a call I need to take more seriously. For I cannot be Christ's disciple unless I desire to make disciples of all the nations. Yes, being faithful costs me something. But my costs pale in comparison with what it costs the Lord to remain faithful to me.