"To Love At All is to Be Vulnerable"

So I've got a confession to make. I don't hate Valentine's Day. In fact, it's my fourth favorite holiday (after Easter, Christmas, and my birthday). Here's another interesting fact: I'm single. And have been for the past five Valentine's Days. I thought I'd take a moment to explain how those two seemingly contradictory thoughts make sense.

Single. Why am I single? Great question. The simple answer to that question is because I choose to be. As a recent college graduate in her early twenties, my life is pretty unpredictable, and sometimes downright chaotic. I have no idea where I'm going to be living five months for now, let alone five years from now. I'm still discerning major life decisions like employment, vocation, and community. It's not fair for me to ask someone to commit to me before I do.

A second reason I'm single is because I need to be. I chose to dedicate a year of my life to mission work. In order to invest in the relationships with the men and women I've been called to serve with and alongside, I cannot invest in a single romantic relationship. I like to think of it as I need to be single, versus I have to be single because "having to be single" negates my choice, as well as the joy I've experienced as a result of my choice.

One way I can share with others the joy of singleness is to refuse to become bitter about Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, at it's core, is about showing your love for others, and feeling loved by others. So why not take a day to celebrate all the relationships God has placed in your life?  Take a minute to write your roommate a note honoring her for the way she always lends a sympathetic ear when you're having a bad day. Thank your co-worker for the times he's cleaned the kitchen so you could meet your deadline. Text your family and thank them for their prayers and support as you spread your wings in a new city.

Part of the reason that people become bitter about Valentine's Day is because of the commercialization of the holiday. Why have we allowed Valentine's Day to become all about the card, flowers, and expensive presents? Because this "stuff" distracts us from the vulnerabilities of love. It's much easier to buy someone a dozen roses and scribble "I Love You" on the card, then caring for your beloved when he/she falls ill. I think I'll wrap up this post with a quote from C.S.Lewis, which explains why I think reclaiming Valentine's Day as a celebration of loving others and feeling loved by others is a principle worth fighting for:

" To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."