"To Love At All is to Be Vulnerable"

So I've got a confession to make. I don't hate Valentine's Day. In fact, it's my fourth favorite holiday (after Easter, Christmas, and my birthday). Here's another interesting fact: I'm single. And have been for the past five Valentine's Days. I thought I'd take a moment to explain how those two seemingly contradictory thoughts make sense.

Single. Why am I single? Great question. The simple answer to that question is because I choose to be. As a recent college graduate in her early twenties, my life is pretty unpredictable, and sometimes downright chaotic. I have no idea where I'm going to be living five months for now, let alone five years from now. I'm still discerning major life decisions like employment, vocation, and community. It's not fair for me to ask someone to commit to me before I do.

A second reason I'm single is because I need to be. I chose to dedicate a year of my life to mission work. In order to invest in the relationships with the men and women I've been called to serve with and alongside, I cannot invest in a single romantic relationship. I like to think of it as I need to be single, versus I have to be single because "having to be single" negates my choice, as well as the joy I've experienced as a result of my choice.

One way I can share with others the joy of singleness is to refuse to become bitter about Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, at it's core, is about showing your love for others, and feeling loved by others. So why not take a day to celebrate all the relationships God has placed in your life?  Take a minute to write your roommate a note honoring her for the way she always lends a sympathetic ear when you're having a bad day. Thank your co-worker for the times he's cleaned the kitchen so you could meet your deadline. Text your family and thank them for their prayers and support as you spread your wings in a new city.

Part of the reason that people become bitter about Valentine's Day is because of the commercialization of the holiday. Why have we allowed Valentine's Day to become all about the card, flowers, and expensive presents? Because this "stuff" distracts us from the vulnerabilities of love. It's much easier to buy someone a dozen roses and scribble "I Love You" on the card, then caring for your beloved when he/she falls ill. I think I'll wrap up this post with a quote from C.S.Lewis, which explains why I think reclaiming Valentine's Day as a celebration of loving others and feeling loved by others is a principle worth fighting for:

" To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Knowing About God vs. Knowing God

Happy February everyone! This week for GAP training, we've been assigned chapters to read from Knowing God by J.I. Packer. Sure enough, the Lord used this book to teach me a lesson this week on the difference between knowing about God and knowing God. Let me explain.

The Ann Arbor chapter of UCO is completing it's fourth week of the Life in the Spirit Fridays (LSF). LSF is a series of introduction to Christianity talks were we discuss who God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and sin are as well as their roles in our everyday lives. LSF culminates with a time of prayer on the fifth night where we'll pray with our discussion groups for dedication, renewal, and gifts of the Holy Spirit. I've never felt the Lord's presence more powerfully than at LSF. Crammed into 716 Catherine Street with about 70 other people, there is no space for faking enthusiasm or blending in.

When we split into discussion groups, I help lead the discussion group with students from Asian Outreach (AO). The AO discussion group is unlike any of the other discussion groups in that most of our students are grappling with Christian ideas for the first time. During discussion time our students don't ask us "how do I use the gifts of the Holy Spirit to grow in discipleship?" but "who is God, and how do I know he's real?"

Before participating in the AO discussion group, I don't think anyone asked me point blank "who is God, and how do I know he's real?" Christian teachings underlies so much of American culture, that even Americans who don't identify as Christians know who God is even if they choose not to know him personally. But Asian young adults who grew up amongst the vestiges of China's Cultural Revolution lack the cultural assumption of religion as a foundation of a countries moral values.

So how does this all tie into Knowing God? I can share with my discussion group who God is just by knowing about God. I can share with them the story of Genesis, and suggest books for further reading. But in order to convince my discussion group that God is real, and not just the hero of an interesting story, I have to know God personally.To know God I must spend time with him in prayer and worship. To know God I must respond to his teachings by modifying my behaviors that contradict his teachings. To know God I must be will to share step out in faith and share the gospel with the men and women God has placed in my life. For:

"What makes life worth while is having a big enough objective, something which catches our imagination and lays hold of our allegiance, and this the Christian has, in a way no other man has. For what higher, more exalted, and more compelling goal can there be that to know God?" (Packer 30).

Ironic isn't it? You set aside a year of your life to serve others, and God uses your service as an opportunity to serve you.