January is the Cruelest Month

English Literature + History = What Career Exactly?!

January is the Cruelest Month

No offense T.S. Elliot, but January, not April is the Cruelest Month. It's cruel in spite of the freezing temperatures, short days, and New Year's Resolutions. It's cruel because for most young adults, January is Discernment month. 

Discernment comes from the Latin roots "dis" meaning apart, and "cernere" meaning "to sift." Taken together, discernment means to "sift apart." From a Christian perspective discernment means to make an important life decision after much prayer and counsel. 

Young adults (youth aged 18ish-24ish) make many important life decisions every year. Every year, they must renegotiate which career, relationships, and living situations to pursue. A lot of these decisions come from trial and error, especially during a person's late teen years. As a person matures, making the "right decisions" becomes more and more important, as these decisions start to shape who the individual will be long term.

I personally find the process of discernment very stressful. I keep having this recurring dream that I am walking up to a buffet filled with all of my favorite food, but the buffet only carries dessert plates. I wake up still trying to figure out if I should have gone for the sweet potatoes, or the mashed ones. Discernment would be easy if we were deciding between two equal options, one clearly "good" and one clearly "bad." But the real world rarely works in neat dualism. Oftentimes you are trying to choose the best good from two great options. 

Since this is my seventh time on the Discernment merry-go-round, I thought I'd offer some tips on how to go about the discernment process in a slightly less stressful manner. Hope it helps!

Discernment Tips, Tricks, and Encouragements

1. Pray. Pray often. Ask other people to pray for you. How will you know what the Lord wants you to do next year if you don't ask him? 

 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  

Plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 

2. Seek counsel. I recommend picking three same-sexed mentors who are at least five years older than you. Women or men who you respect, and who you know will speak truth into your life. Discuss your questions, fears, and anxieties with them. Listen to their feedback. Let all of the other advice you receive (and trust me you will receive A LOT) go in one ear, and out the other. 

3. Vent responsibly. There's no reason to freak people out unnecessarily over decisions you haven't completely made.  In fact, it's selfish of you to do so. For example if you are discerning whether to transfer to a different university, there's no need to share this with your friends at your current university until you have made a decision. Talk to an adviser  your parents, or a friend not involved in the situation. Discern up, never sideways. 

4. Set (realistic) deadlines. You do not want the discernment process to drag out forever. I'd say 2-3 months is plenty of time to discern major life decisions. Be patient with yourself, but also refuse to wallow in a black hole of possibilities. 

5.  When people ask you what you're doing next year, it is perfectly alright to say "I am discerning my plans for next year. I will tell you when I've made some decisions, but until then I'd appreciate you not asking me about my future plans." Now, obviously this line will not work with parents, supervisors, and best friends. But I've found it incredibly useful for that relative you only see once a year, or that co-worker who you wouldn't talk to unless you worked together. 

I'd like to leave you with a pearl of wisdom I received last year as I was discerning if I should move back to Pittsburgh and work for UCO. I hope it encourages you as you embark on your discernment process!

"When you're discerning between two equally good options, sometimes you need to just make a decision. After you've made your decision, act like you've made it. Feelings follow actions." 

ONE_Conference

© Cindy Lykins 2013

Kairos Staff Conference 2013

ONE_ Conference

Remember when you were a kid and Mom or Dad called the family together for a family meeting? As a kid you thought that one of two things was happening: 1. Someone passed away or 2. The family was going on a trip to Disney World. As you grew up you learned that family meetings occurred when Mom or Dad had something important that they wanted to discuss as a family. Mostly the meetings were pretty straightforward, but every once in a while you had a meeting that changed the direction of your family life. The Kairos Staff Conference 2013, held in Lansing, MI from January 4-6, 2013 was one of those direction changing family meetings.

Kairos is the branch of the Sword of the Spirit (SOS) that supports SOS youth and university outreach, mainly high school youth groups, Saint Paul’s Outreach (SPO), and University Christian Outreach (UCO). Kairos works specifically with youth as youth must decide if they want to follow Christ, and to what extent. This conference pulled together 160 Kairos staff workers from nine UCO chapters, seven SPO chapters, numerous high school youth groups, and a brotherhood.

This conference’s theme was oneness. We spent time exploring our common culture, call, and mission. We heard talks on Our Common Nucleus, The Post-modern iWorld, A Return to Reason, The Need for a Comprehensive Solution, and Responding to a Call from God. In the men's and women's sessions we looked at growing in Christian manhood, and womanhood respectively.

The highlight of the retreat for me was our Saturday night prayer meeting. After celebrating the Lord's Day together we turned to the Lord to see what he had for us. The Lord spoke clearly to us in three prophetic words:

1. Be Not afraid
2. Give Generously
3. Take More Ground

The word to give generously really struck me. As a staff worker I can sometimes roll my eyes when encouraged to give more. Haven’t I already sacrificed my career, living situation, and personal life for the mission? Then I realized that my sacrifice does and always will pale in comparison to Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice on the cross. The prophecy reminded me of the words from John 12:25, “the man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in the world will keep it for eternal life”

I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend such a powerful family meeting. It was great to catch up with family members who live all over North America, and meet some new ones. I returned to Pittsburgh with a new heart, and vision for the work. It’s a privilege to be part of such a supportive, interesting family.

2012 Recap

When I look back on 2012, I remember it as the year I became an adult. I thought I'd justify my claim by a series of top ten lists. 

Enjoy! And Happy New Year :)  

10 Greatest Adventures of 2012

1. Serving at the Kairos Women's Mission Director Conference.

2. Leading a small group for UCO Ann Arbor's Life in the Spirit Seminar. 

3. Tutoring English to Asian Students @ U of M. 

4. Learning how to communicate well with male co-workers. 

5. Leaving Ann Arbor, moving to Pittsburgh

6. Working as a mission leader for UCO Pittsburgh

7. Serving with AmeriCorps at the Carnegie Library of Homestead. 

8. Living in the women's house in Pittsburgh.

9. Living/working/maintaining my friendship with my best friend.

10. Exploring community life in the People of God Community. 

10 Best Books (I read) in 2012

1. Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama

2. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metazas

3. Man and Woman in Christ by Steven B. Clark 

4. A Town Without Steel: Envisioning Homestead by Judith Modell

5. The Juvenilzation of American Christianity by Thomas Bergler

6. The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X

7. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

8. On the Road by Jack Keroac 

9. A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O'Conner 

10. Writing About Your Life by WIliam Zinsser 

Top 10 Scripture Verses of 2012

1. " I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. The one who plants and the one who waters have a common purpose, and each will receive wages according to the labor of each. But we are God's servants, working together - you are God's field, God's building" - I Corinthians 3: 6-9 

2. "For if you keep quiet at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you wave come to royal dignity for just such a time as this?" -Esther 4: 13-14

3. "Do not be afraid, stand firm, and see the deliverance that the Lord will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you see today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still" Exodus 14: 13-14

4. "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3: 1-2

5. "You are the one who shall command the priests who bears the ark of the covenant. 'When you come to the edge of the waters of the Jordan, you shall stand still in the Jordan.' " - Joshua 3:8 

6. " For it is a credit to you if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly. If you endure when you are beaten for doing wrong, what credit is that? But if you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God's approval, For to this you have been called because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps" -`1 Peter 2: 19-22

7. "And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. FOr it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well" -Luke 12: 29-31. 

8. "It is by holding fast to the Word of Life that I can boast on the day of Christ that I did not run in vain nor labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out as a libation over the sacrifice, and the offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you" - Philippians 2: 16-17 

9. 'Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here I am, send me' " - Isaiah 6:8 

10. "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord" Jeremiah 29: 8

2012 in 10 Songs

1. "Independence Day" by Bruce Springsteen

2. "Lover's Eyes" by Mumford and Sons

3. "Backstreets" by The Gaslight Anthem

4. "Try" by Pink

5. "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys

6. "Shackled and Drawn" by Bruce Springsteen

7. "Better Dig Two" by The Band Perry

8. "On My Own" by Samantha Barks

9. "Highway Patrolman" by Bruce Springsteen

10. "Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight" by ABBA

Stuck in the Gap

Two months is a long time to go without a blog post. I apologize. Life's been a little busy/crazy/beautiful lately. Here's an update.

Last year when I was on my Gap year, one of my colleges coined the phrase "stuck in the Gap" to describe people who continue to serve after their gap years end. At the time, I thought people who stayed stuck in the gap were a bit, well, crazy. Little did I know that less than a year later I would not only be working for UCO, but I would be serving with AmeriCorps.

Two months ago, I began my term of service with the Keys Service Corps, a division of AmeriCorps. Keys members serve at various underprivileged sites throughout the country and provide mentoring and tutoring to youth at their sites. Here in Pittsburgh, members serve in Downtown, the Hill District, Braddock, Pitcairn, McKees Rocks, East Liberty, the North Side, McKeesport, the South Side, and Homestead. I'm serving at the Carnegie Library of Homestead (CloH) with their after-school program. 

CLoH. Pretty Cool, Right?

The history of CLoH is really interesting. The building that houses the library also houses an athletic center (with one of the regions first heated pools) and a music hall. It was built  in 1898 for $300,000. Which in today's money equals $7-$8 million. Andrew Carnegie, Pittsburgh's steel tycoon, provided the library with it's endowment. Carnegie's legacy has a contentious relationship with the city of Homestead because of the Homestead Steel Strike of 1892 and the closing of Homestead Works in 1986.

So you might be wondering why AmeriCorps sent a member to such a beautiful building to serve? Glad you asked. The city of Homestead suffered tremendously with the closing of the Homestead Steel Works in 1986. See up until the late 1980s, steel wasn't just the main industry in Homestead, it was the only industry in Homestead. All of the stores along 8th avenue, all of the 42 churches, and all of the beer gardens revolved around the mill. Boys lacked motivation to apply themselves to their studies because they had a guaranteed good job waiting for them on their 18th birthday. Girls lacked motivation too because they thought they would grow up to marry a steelworker, and keep house just like their mothers did. When the mill closed it's doors, the entire town fell apart. 

25 years after the mill shut down, the community is still struggling to re-build itself. That's where CLoH comes in. CLoH helps to address two of Homestead's major challenges: childhood illiteracy and childcare. In Homestead there is no safe, free place for children to hang out in after school other than the library. On any given afternoon, we get anywhere from 20-60 kids. My "job" is to serve the kids by helping them find something educational to do while they're at the library. I do that through book discussion groups, game nights, craft nights, and playing board games. Sometimes we do service projects like make books for the library's Steel Valley Christmas Parade Float.

Look what my kids made!

The hardest part about my service is managing behavior, aka disciplining the kids. The library has rules that the kids must follow in order to use the library, and it is my job to enforce them. I really hate making kids leave when they misbehave, but they have to learn that the decisions they make have consequences. The kids will try every trick in the book to get more time on the computer, or time in the library, so I have to be both firm and patient. 

You might be wondering who in their right mind agrees to serve part-time with University Christian Outreach and part-time with AmeriCorps? I ask myself that question several times a day. Especially on the days when one of my "big" kids forgets that we were supposed to meet that day, and one of my "little" kids threatens to cut my hair with a pair of safety scissors. But even on those days I love what I do. I love the opportunity to pour myself out everyday in serving others. Every single day I'm forced to my knees completely dependent upon the Lord. Everyday I have the privilege of living out one of my favorite Scripture passages from Luke:

"If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it. What does it profit them is they gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit themselves?"

-Luke 9:23-25

10 Most Important Things I've Learned from Literature

10 Most Important Things I've Learned From Literature

1. "Prejudices, it is well known, are more difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones" (Bronte, Jane Eyre 391). 

Jane Eyre is my favorite novel, and this quote is one of my favorites from it. I feel passionately that education in the solution to a plethora of social ills. I really admire Jane's wisdom and her unwavering morals, even when life throws a wrench into her well laid plans.

2. "Yo papa and yo mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. Two things everybody's got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin' fuh theyselves" (Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God 192). 

Two things that all literature must do: reveal something about the character of God, and teach the reader something about theyselves. 

3. "The mother women seemed to prevail that summer at Grand Isle... They were women who idolized their children, worshiped their husbands, and esteemed it a holy privilege to efface themselves as individuals and grow wings as ministering angels" (Chopin, The Awakening 11). 

As I skimmed my copy of The Awakening for a quote to use for this post, I stumbled across the handwriting of my 16 year old self next to this quote with the question, "Is it possible for a women to stay at home and care for her children and still be happy?!" I wonder what my 16 year old self would do, if she knew her 23 year old future self has no idea. 

4. "It's as if every body's made this tacit agreement to live in a state of total self-deception. The hell with reality! Let's have a whole bunch of cute little winding roads and cute little houses painted white and pink and baby blue; let's all be good consumers and have a lot of Togetherness and bring our children up in a bath of sentimentality- Daddy's a great man because he makes a living, Mummy's a great woman because she's stuck by Daddy all these years- and if old reality ever does pop out and say Boo, we'll all get busy and pretend it never happened" (Yates, Revolutionary Road, 68-69).

I love Yates' daring criticism of the American Dream, specifically the suburbs. I say daring because Revolutionary Road was published in 1961, on the eve of America's counter-culture movement. What do you do when you realize  that everything you've worked your adult life towards is causing you to rot from the inside out? Do you have an affair with a pretty secretary from your office, and accept a promotion from a job you hate to provide for your family, like Frank Wheeler did? Or do you perform an at-home abortion so your family can start over in France, like April Wheeler did? I love that you finish this novel just as confused as the characters over what's the "right" solution to a life of quiet desperation. 

5.“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac On the Road

I am reading this book right now, and am head over heals in love with it. Mostly because I will never drive from New York to San Francisco and back five times doing 110 in a borrowed Cadillac. Nor will I take a lover in every town I spend the night. Nor will I write poetry while high on heroin. But it sure is fun to read about Dean and Sal as they unapologetically flout every social convention I can think of. 

6. “Life is going to give you just what you put in it. Put your whole heart in everything you do, and pray, then you can wait.” 

-Maya Angelou I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 

Maya Angelou is one of my heroes in life. I love that her advice doesn't sound like an Oprah "live your best life" bumper sticker. Happiness comes to those who do, those who live passionetly, those who pray, and those who wait. 

7. “Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.” (“Here is my secret. It's quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” 

-Antoine de Saint Exupery The Little Prince

I read this book for the first time in middle school. I was struck by it's simple wisdom. I read it again en francaise in high school (the only book I managed to do so with). I was again struck by it's simple wisdom. I love The Little Prince's secret. That lessons of the heart transcend age, language, and cultural barriers.  

8.“I wish I was a woman of about thirty-six dressed in black satin with a string of pearls.” 

-Daphne du Maurier Rebecca

I've wanted to be older since I was a little kid. There's something about wearing pearls at 36 that tells the world that you've got your act together. I appreciate that Rebecca convinced me to not be in such a hurry to grow up. Adulthood is about more than just wearing the pearls, it's about what you had to do to get them. 

9. “The Heart is a lonely hunter with only one desire! To find some lasting comfort in the arms of anothers fire...driven by a desperate hunger to the arms of a neon light, the heart is a lonely hunter when there's no sign of love in sight!”

-Carson McCullers The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

This quote is the best explanation I can think of for why people do stupid things in the name of love. Most literature exists to explain why people do stupid things in the name of love. 

10. "People don't realize how a man's whole life can be changed by one book" 

-Malcolm X The Autobiography of Malcolm X

I read Malcolm X's autobiography this past summer. Did you know that Malcolm X learned how to read and write in prison? I'd always assumed that he was educated at an Ivy League university because of his powerful oratorical skills. If one book can turn a street hustler into the spokesperson for the Black Power movement, think of what one book can do for you. 

Now go forth with a skip in your step, and your nose in a book. 

Working on the Whiteboard

Last week at my church's young adult meeting, we discussed work, specifically the difference between calling and a job. We spent most of the meeting brainstorming words we associate with work on the whiteboard. After the meeting ended, I grabbed the dry erase marker and made a few edits. This was the result:

While it may looks like an elementary art project, I think it accurately represents how Christian young adults think about work.  Young, Christian, college grads entering the workforce today are confused, yet oddly optimistic. Let's look at why.

I think the main source of our discontent comes from trying to link our identity to our job. Think about it. What's the first thing you tell someone you've just met about yourself, after your name? You tell them what you do. Why? Because what we do is supposed to tell other people something about who we are. For example if a guy tells you that he is an accountant, you're supposed to think that he is smart, responsible, financially secure, and a numbers geek. You're more likely to forgive his social awkwardness because he's using his talents to make sure that the rest of us don't end up filing for bankruptcy. It amazes me how one verb can produce two juicy sentences of stereotypes.

While is just a silly example, it gets to the heart of the problem. The problem of defining our identity and self worth in terms of what we produce. When we derive our identity and self-worth from what we produce, we automatically privilege the minority of the population (read: us) with enough money, education, and power to produce .I'd hate to see self-worth available only to those born white, rich, and smart. 

Post-colonial theory rant aside, I think my peers and I have reason to be optimistic. We don't need to search for our identity because we've already got one. We are disciples of Christ. Jesus' death and resurrection gives us eternal life, and gives us eternal identities rooted in him. I love Paul's instructions to the Corinthians, "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." (1 Corinthians 15:8) Here Paul makes it clear that laboring in the Lord comes out of our commitment to discipleship. The only labor we're allowed to derive our self-worth from is the work of the Lord acting through us. 

Let's aim to separate identity (who we are) from job (what we do). Let's allow our jobs to be the work we enjoy doing, but who's primary function is to pay the bills so we can serve the Lord with the first fruits of our time and talents. 

The Benefits of Underemployment

There are benefits to underemployment. That's what I'm going to tell the next person who asks me what I do with the 20 hours a week that I don't work for UCO.

I recently read an article in Time magazine entitled "How Underemployed is Generation Y." You can read the article here .

I was not surprised to read that 53% of recent college graduates are either unemployed, or underemployed. For example, in my young adult bible study most of us either work part time, or work a combination of odd jobs full-time. I know a lot lot of smart, interesting,young people who go to college, major in something cool like Victorian Literature, and end up having to work as an administrative assistant to pay back their student loans. And that's a best case scenario.

I am a pretty typical millennial. I graduated from college in 2011 with a degree in English Literature and History. After I graduated I took a gap year to serve in Ann Arbor, MI, and now I work part time for University Christian Outreach. I'm actively looking for part-time employment, but with my skills and this economy, it might be a while before I find work.

I refuse to allow my underemployment get me down. I have decided to embrace this unexpected phase as an opportunity for self-improvement. So like most media-savy millennial, I've compiled my thoughts into an easily skimmed list.

Top 5 Benefits of Underemployment

1. Open Yale Courses
I was heartbroken to graduate from university and leave behind reading assignments, papers, and brilliantly quirky professors. About a month ago I stumbled upon this gem. Open Yale Courses are Yale University introductory courses offered free to the public. Their website gives you access to course syllabi, and course lectures. Right now I'm going through Amy Hungerford's "The American Novel Since 1945." Between the reading assignments and the course lectures, this passion project takes up about five hours of my time per week. Plus it allows me to ask my housemates about their school days without turning green with envy.

2. Attend Pittsburgh's FREE cultural programs
A drawback of underemployment is that you don't have much discretionary income. But with a little research, you can explore your city's culture on the cheap. Case in point. Pittsburgh's Regional Assistant Development (RAD) donates money to area libraries, museums, and gardens. Every organization that receives donations from RAD must host a RAD day, where they make their attraction free to the public. In the last week, I visited Phipps Conservatory and The Andy Warhol Museum. My only expense was the $5 I spent on bus fare.

3. Learn to Bake
Baking is like writing: everyone thinks they can master it if they just had the time and the right ingredients. False. Baking is like writing in that they are both skills that get better with practice. Now that I have the time, I try to bake something new every week. Below is a picture of my latest creation.

Pumpkin Cookies

4. Coffee Dates

Moving to a new city means hitting the reset button on your social life. Building new relationships takes time. I enjoy coffee dates because they provide a space for getting to know someone casually. I like getting coffee instead of a drink because it keeps you awake, and gives you something to talk about. Plus it's cheap. And coffee dates motivate me to shower and put on real clothes on days I wouldn't have otherwise left the house.  

5. Pray

In working with college students, I've found that lack of time can really derail a person's prayer life. It takes time to learn how to pray. It takes time to prepare to pray (brewing coffee, gathering materials, finding a quiet place). And it takes time to pray well. Now that I've got the time, I've set a goal of 30 minutes of daily prayer and scripture reading. I really like the discipline and structure that daily morning prayer gives me. I try to spend only five of those minutes praying for a part time job.